Electrifying

Overall, this has not been the best day ever.
First thing in the morning, R. went to go check the load of clothes that had been in the dryer overnight to make sure they were finally dry. Our dryer doesn't do a very good job, so there was a good chance stuff was still damp. Sure enough, the clothes weren't dry, so R. turned the dryer on for another cycle. But it didn't work. Some piece of the stupid machine wasn't doing its job, so R. unplugged it and looked around to see if the problem was obvious. It was not, so he tried to plug it back in. He couldn't fit his arm behind the dryer to plug it back in, so I said I would do it. I climbed on top and reeeeeached behind to put the big, scary plug back in the big scary socket. All of a sudden my arm that was in the air for balance began to feel all buzzy.
Then I jumped off the dryer, and maybe I screamed.The stupid dryer shocked me! Everything was fine at first, except that for some reason, my thumb was all achy. Then my arm went kind of tingly and numb. Then, my, um, backside, got all sore. Then I got a huge headache and started to feel all queasy. It was weird. It really felt like I had hiked about ten miles, and then was a little drunk.
Needless to say I freaked out. I called home, and then I called all kinds of doctors.
I feel fine now and I think there was no real damage, I just got scared. Still, the dryer is broken, and now we're afraid of it. R. installed a very nice retractable clothesline in the backyard this afternoon. It will probably dry clothes faster than the stupid machine anyway. Also, it will help us use less energy and will keep our house cooler in the summer. So green! Lessons learned today:
1.When plugging in big scary appliances, shut off the breaker first.
2. Don't play with electricity
3. Don't yell at your husband. He didn't make the dryer break and he didn't shock you. Plus, he brought you chocolate.
4. Don't go to Urgent care without an appointment.
5. Don't to be shy about saying you've received an electric shock in your butt.
6. Clotheslines must be anchored well because wet clothes are heavier than you'd think.
7. Clothespins hurt when you try to attach them to other people.
8. My Dad tells me that when you are testing to see if something will shock you, you should use the back side of your finger, not your palm, because when you're shocked, your muscles contract and you will end up grabbing onto the thing. So, if, say, you were thinking about breaking and entering, but you aren't sure if that fence is electric, don't use your palm to check, because then you'll be shocked, and you'll get caught for sure.