Slumber Party Pie

It's Friday recipe time. Ashley's here for a sleepover and we're going to invent a pie! This will be the most delicious pie you ever tasted. It will make you want to invite your best friends over to watch silly movies and play games. Promise.

First up, the crust!They're made with oats and those are good for you!

Capn' Crunch Berry Crust:
4 tbsp butter
4 cups crunch berries
Crush the crunch berries until you have crunch berry flour. Then, melt the butter and mix in into the crunch berries with your fingers until it starts to stick together. Transfer to your pie plate and press into the bottom and up the sides. Bake in 350 degree oven for 10-12 minutes.
Then, we made a cream cheese mixture:
8 oz cream cheese
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup half and half
1 tsp almond extract
1/4 tsp cinnamon
These all got mixed up in the mixer on high speed until they thickened a little bit, like cheesecake. Then we spread that in our prepared crust.

There was a little bit of the cream cheese mix left on the beaters and we mixed that in the blender with cherries, raspberries, blueberries, and mixed berries in the blender until it looked like a pink smoothie.
yum.That got spread on top of the cream cheese layer in the pie crust. Then we decorated it with more, um, berries. Warning: we made this up. and it was way after midnight. and we only used our cookbook as a coaster. You are not obligated to make this recipe.
Unless, of course, you're at a slumber party. Then you have to.

Buffalo gals

won't you come out tonight?


Look who is finally done! It's the buffalo head that caused so much trouble for us back in August. Thanks to this buffalo, UPS will no longer deliver packages to us.
The lovely Ashley and Ryan provided a home for our disgusting head for the last five months and now it's dry and clean and awesome-looking. Thanks guys!

pink daisies

I always forget that I live with tiny monsters who can't be trusted. Whenever we have fresh flowers on the kitchen table, I forget that I have to put them in the sink overnight or in the morning we'll find flower massacre. I had a jar of fat pink daisies on the table yesterday and I left them there, knowing that my animals know they are not allowed anywhere near the top of any tables. I'm not pointing any fingers...
...but this morning there was a pile of decapitated flowers on the floor and water everywhere. Thanks buddy. At least now I get to wear one of the flower victims in my hair all day. Thanks Georgie!
"I don't know what you're talking about. Feed me."

Lyra's hat knitting pattern

January 28th Update: There has been a lot of attention to this post. Is there any interest in kits for this pattern? Tell you what, if anyone would like a kit that includes a pattern (more precise than the one below) and pattern yarn, please leave a comment and we'll work something out. I'll even put it all in an Alkaline original bag.

Lyra's hat

Have you seen the Golden Compass yet? Did you read the books? You totally should. Remember Lyra's hat that she wears in the movie? This is sort of a sucky picture of it, but you can get the basic idea...

Well, I thought that my daemon and I ought to be prepared in case we ever have to go into the North, so I figured out how to make her hat.

My daemon, Orbit

Want the pattern? It goes a little something like this: I used one hank of very big yarn, about as thick as those old hair ribbons we used to wear in the 80's. You could get an even cooler effect by combining leftovers of all of your favorite yarns until you get about that weight. You could easily go even chunkier than this and it would look more like the movie.

This is a really quick knit. I started mine over three times and was still able to finish it during the National Championship game.

Lyra's Boreal Hat

Gauge: 4" =7 stitches x 10 rows.

Needles: size 19 (or whatever works

-Cast on 36 stitches. Work in stockinette stitch for 20 rows. Add a few extra rows for an even roomier fit. Mine may be a little skimpy for Svalbard.

-Bind off. Now you have a long knitted rectangle.

-Fold cast off edge in half (making roughly a square) so that there are 18 stitches on each side and make a seam using whatever method you like. this will be the back of the hat. In the movie, the seam is very obvious on the outside of the hat, but you could be more discrete if you like.

- make two long braids of coordinating yarn (or an i-cord if you feel up to it) and affix to the two remaining open corners of the former rectangle. These will be the tassels you use to tie the hat snugly.

Tada! A very easy, very warm hat. Plus, the ties keep it on your head, should you find yourself riding a polar bear at great speed.

Friday night cooking show at Your House

This misadventure in the kitchen is for you, Whitney and Tiffany!

This is a recipe from my favorite cooking show, Sam the Cooking Guy, that comes on Tucson's public channel on Saturday mornings. It's yummy and warm and gooey. We ate it for dinner last night, but now that I think about it, it would be a kick-ass brunch food. On the other hand, it is full of onions. You never have brunch if you don't have company, right? Onions=smelly=uncomfortable guests. You do what you think is right.

Kick-Ass Onion Pie
-8 oz red wine
-2 big red onions
-3 roma tomatoes (or 2 regular tomatoes, or a zillion cherry tomatoes)
-6 oz goat cheese with herbs. (I know last week's had goat cheese too. We're not fanatics, we had leftovers- gimme a break)
-1 deep pie shell (or be brave and make your own)
-olive oil

First step: Change into something fabulous.
Next, locate place in your kitchen where pretend audience is sitting. Mine usually sits across from the stove. Remember, you must be able to explain everything you're doing to the audience, so be sure they're sitting on your good side.
3. Obtain large wine glass. Pour 8 oz wine into glass. sip demurely. Being on TV is so hard.
4. Slice up onions into really thin rings. This takes a little while, so be sure to say witty things to the audience, or go ahead and take a commercial break.
5. Heat some olive oil in a big frying pan over medium high heat and add the onions. You're going to cook them until they're nice and soft and maybe a little browned. Add salt and pepper to your liking.
6. While those are cooking, slice up the tomatoes.
7. Sip wine
8. Advise audience on proper cutting techniques, being sure to show off any fancy knives or cutting boards. Remember, you're a professional. Speak hautily and use big words. Tell them how you learned to cook in France, etc...
9. Check on onions. Still not done? Flip them over a little so they all get cooked. I used tongs. Tong ta tong tong tong
10. Open goat cheese package. If you forgot to get the herb-y kind (like I did) then spice it up yourself. Wink at the audience while you expertly mix together your favorite combination of rosemary, sage, dill, thyme, whatever you like. Crumble it up with the cheese.
11. When onions are done, take them off the stove and get out the pie shell. Fill the pie shell with onions.
12. Layer the tomatoes on top.
13. Sprinkle the cheese over top.
14. Here's where you tell the audience that you'll cook the pie at 350 degrees until the top is bubbly and the sides are brown. Then, pull out a pie that you made earlier to show them how awesome you are.
15. Big sip of wine.
16. slice up the pie and serve.

January sucks

Januaries can be tricky. On the one hand, they are post-holidays-still-winter disappointing. A downward spin into the horrors of Arizona summer. On the other hand, they mean a new year, new beginning, fresh starts. I've chosen to make this January the latter. These have been cheering me up a whole lot


and I've been trying to spend more time out here.


So bring it on 2008. Everyone knows that even-numbered years are the most fun anyway.

Jerk Grown-up

I can clearly remember the way that adults who weren't my parents treated me when I a little kid. I hated it when I would talk to a grown-up and they would reply to my parents instead of to me. I hated it when they would talk to me in baby-talk or assume that all I could do was baby-talk. I remember the look on their faces when they couldn't understand me and how frustrated I felt. We spent a lot of time in our neighbors' gardens and sometimes would sit and chat with them. They'd ask us questions that we didn't care about and we'd tell them things that I'm sure made no sense. One neighbor in particular was always great about never making me feel like I was too little to talk to her. She took me seriously and never tried to make me be cute. I sort of keep it in mind when I talk to kids now. I try not to talk in a high pitched voice and I try not to use baby words for things (but am guilty of both).
This afternoon, I had my first experience with being a full-fledged jerk grown-up. The neighbor kids across the street are really young. I'm not sure how old they are, but they're too young to go to school. Their older brothers are very nice and often have to come into the backyard to retrieve balls and stuff (which terrifies them. Ha! Scary adult is fine with me. Mean adult is not.) Today, I was replanting a cactus into a bigger pot, when the kids came over and asked me what I was doing. Here's where the trouble began. I understood their question and I told them all about how my cactus was too big for the little pot and had to go into a bigger pot so it could grow better, etc. Unfortunately, they asked their question in Spanish and I answered in English. Most people in Tucson speak at least a little of both languages and seem to have a magic radar that tells them which language to use in a certain situation. These kids were so little though, they didn't speak English at all. I panicked and realized I would have to tell them what I was doing in Spanish. When you're nervous, you can barely speak at all, let alone in a language you last studied in high school. I sort of bumbled around a sentence or two and got blank stares from the kids. They pointed to my backyard and told me something about my fence and the people who live behind me but I couldn't understand them. Then I did it. I gave them a huge smile and said (in English) "Ok then, well I hope you guys have fun!" In a squeaky high voice and a stupid expression. Their faces were blank. My face became blank. They said something else. I nodded and smiled. It was over. I'm a jerk grown-up. They think I don't want to listen to them, and I think that Spanish in their cute little chipmunk voices is too hard for me to understand. Is this what happened when I was a kid? Were jerk grown-ups actually not speaking my language? I don't mean they didn't speak English, but did they just not speak four-year-old? Maybe my voice sounded like my neighbor kids' and was too high and fast to be understood in any language.
Anyway, from my new perspective as a jerk, I'm still going to try to talk to kids normally and without funny words or voices, but I am a little more sympathetic to all the jerks before me who just wanted to make friends with the little neighbors too.