Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Jerk Grown-up

I can clearly remember the way that adults who weren't my parents treated me when I a little kid. I hated it when I would talk to a grown-up and they would reply to my parents instead of to me. I hated it when they would talk to me in baby-talk or assume that all I could do was baby-talk. I remember the look on their faces when they couldn't understand me and how frustrated I felt. We spent a lot of time in our neighbors' gardens and sometimes would sit and chat with them. They'd ask us questions that we didn't care about and we'd tell them things that I'm sure made no sense. One neighbor in particular was always great about never making me feel like I was too little to talk to her. She took me seriously and never tried to make me be cute. I sort of keep it in mind when I talk to kids now. I try not to talk in a high pitched voice and I try not to use baby words for things (but am guilty of both).
This afternoon, I had my first experience with being a full-fledged jerk grown-up. The neighbor kids across the street are really young. I'm not sure how old they are, but they're too young to go to school. Their older brothers are very nice and often have to come into the backyard to retrieve balls and stuff (which terrifies them. Ha! Scary adult is fine with me. Mean adult is not.) Today, I was replanting a cactus into a bigger pot, when the kids came over and asked me what I was doing. Here's where the trouble began. I understood their question and I told them all about how my cactus was too big for the little pot and had to go into a bigger pot so it could grow better, etc. Unfortunately, they asked their question in Spanish and I answered in English. Most people in Tucson speak at least a little of both languages and seem to have a magic radar that tells them which language to use in a certain situation. These kids were so little though, they didn't speak English at all. I panicked and realized I would have to tell them what I was doing in Spanish. When you're nervous, you can barely speak at all, let alone in a language you last studied in high school. I sort of bumbled around a sentence or two and got blank stares from the kids. They pointed to my backyard and told me something about my fence and the people who live behind me but I couldn't understand them. Then I did it. I gave them a huge smile and said (in English) "Ok then, well I hope you guys have fun!" In a squeaky high voice and a stupid expression. Their faces were blank. My face became blank. They said something else. I nodded and smiled. It was over. I'm a jerk grown-up. They think I don't want to listen to them, and I think that Spanish in their cute little chipmunk voices is too hard for me to understand. Is this what happened when I was a kid? Were jerk grown-ups actually not speaking my language? I don't mean they didn't speak English, but did they just not speak four-year-old? Maybe my voice sounded like my neighbor kids' and was too high and fast to be understood in any language.
Anyway, from my new perspective as a jerk, I'm still going to try to talk to kids normally and without funny words or voices, but I am a little more sympathetic to all the jerks before me who just wanted to make friends with the little neighbors too.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Que?

Dad

Anonymous said...

I talk to animals in a squeaky voice-do they think I'm a jerk? I usually talk to kids like they are people like me only sometimes with a simpler vocabulary. When I don't know their language, gestures and smiles work good or sometimes we just "No comprende". Human communication is amazing. Try talking to deaf people! Facial expressions do a lot!!

Anonymous said...

42 years ago in Arizona, I was working on the Navajo Reservation. I was picking up another worker, who was Mexican. His 4 yr. old daughter came over and said "This is my dolly." She spoke fluent English. I commented about it to him after we left. He told me he didn't understand what was going on in school till he was in the 4th grade. He decided to speak English and Spanish to his kids from birth so they wouldn't be stuck with the same problem.

Brook said...

How do you look yourself in the mirror? I think you should redeem yourself by sending me a giant cupcake. I'll also accept Rob's stew.

Archaeology Ash said...

Pobrecita. Todos los ninos te quieren aunque tu no puedes hablar su idioma.

Archaeology Ash said...

Kenichiro helped me, by the way.

Liam said...

My Aunt Lizzie is not mean. She is not a jerk. I love her.