Bird-a-long

My sister and I are both making paper mache projects this month. We decided to make seagulls. I've never done paper mache before (except maybe on a balloon in school), but this was really fun. By really fun, I mean it was really messy. Mine has an aluminum foil core and was covered with Saturday and Sunday's newspaper cut into strips.

I made the goop you dip the paper in out of flour (all purpose), water, and some Elmer's glue. I don't know if you need the glue, but it seemed like it couldn't hurt.
I think that the kind of newspaper you make your bird out of affects his future personality. I tried to give mine a balance of the comics and the obituaries. There's a sudoku on his head for intelligence, and an auto parts add on his tail to remind him to be a fast flier.

I didn't think it was going to work at first because it was so gloppy and wet. I left him on the front porch overnight, though, and he dried just fine. It was even raining outside, so it's not like it was just Tucson dryness helping me out. He came out really hard and heavier than I expected.

Next weekend, I think I will paint him and add some birdy details. Maybe Karen will share pictures of hers.

Friday Recipe: Tiny Lemon Cakes

I have a new Friday Recipe for you today (Saturday morning). I know what I said about this being the year of full sized cakes and everything, but these are too yummy to be ignored in 2008. Besides, they aren't cupcakes. I haven't got any pictures today because we already ate the cakes.

I have some special tiny cake pans, but before I did, I used to make tiny cakes in the bottom of large aluminum cans. I used empty tomato cans or pumpkin cans, you know the size, right? Well, I washed them really well, then lined them with foil (just in case tin cans are actually toxic in some way). So, if you have small pans, use them. If not, improvise!

Tiny Lemon Cakes

1/2 cup butter
7 tbsp sugar
2 eggs
3/4 cup self-rising flour
1 tsp lemon extract
zest of half of one lemon
3tbsp milk


Ok, make sure your butter is a little soft, but not squishy before you start. Mix all the ingredients except for the milk together on high speed. I use the small bowl on my mixmaster so that everything gets good and whipped. When everything is combined, drizzle the milk in until it reaches a good batter consistency. Sometimes it doesn't need all 3 tbsp. You know how cakes can be fiddly like that.
Fill your prepared cans about 1 inch full (use several cans to make layers, you should be able to get 6 tiny layers) or pour batter into lightly greased pans.
Bake at 400 degrees for about 20 min or until they start to get a little golden on top. My oven is inconsistent and I sometimes have to cook them at 375 for 25 minutes. Your's is probably lovely and will be right on target.
When they're done, let them cool for a minute or two in the pans (don't burn yourself) then turn them out onto a cooling rack for at least 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, make the icing:
1/4 cup butter, softened (1/2 a stick)
8 oz cream cheese
5 cups powdered sugar
1 tsp lemon extract (or use lemon juice at this stage)
the other half of the lemon zest
1/3 cup of milk or cream.
yellow food coloring (people won't believe it's lemon if it's not yellow)

Mix up the butter and the cream cheese. Slowly add the powdered sugar, alternating with the milk and the lemon extract. (Go check and see if the cake is burning). Adjust the milk or powdered sugar to get a good icing consistency. Not too thick, not too thin. The lemon zest will make the icing just a little lumpy, but we're not perfectionists, are we? Add the food coloring just a little at a time until it looks nice and fake. When the cakes are cool, ice them liberally with your delicious icing and eat the rest out of the bowl.

-so I made this up and as you can see some of the instructions are a little less than exact. If you do make the cakes, let me know how they turn out, okay, and we can adjust the recipe for later.

Beautiful science

Look what my Dad made, it's a test tube stand, which doubles as a set of six vases! It works great when you have some flowers left over from last week that aren't really strong enough to stand up on their own anymore. Talk about integrated science- how's that for chemistry and botany together at last!

Slumber Party Pie

It's Friday recipe time. Ashley's here for a sleepover and we're going to invent a pie! This will be the most delicious pie you ever tasted. It will make you want to invite your best friends over to watch silly movies and play games. Promise.

First up, the crust!They're made with oats and those are good for you!

Capn' Crunch Berry Crust:
4 tbsp butter
4 cups crunch berries
Crush the crunch berries until you have crunch berry flour. Then, melt the butter and mix in into the crunch berries with your fingers until it starts to stick together. Transfer to your pie plate and press into the bottom and up the sides. Bake in 350 degree oven for 10-12 minutes.
Then, we made a cream cheese mixture:
8 oz cream cheese
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup half and half
1 tsp almond extract
1/4 tsp cinnamon
These all got mixed up in the mixer on high speed until they thickened a little bit, like cheesecake. Then we spread that in our prepared crust.

There was a little bit of the cream cheese mix left on the beaters and we mixed that in the blender with cherries, raspberries, blueberries, and mixed berries in the blender until it looked like a pink smoothie.
yum.That got spread on top of the cream cheese layer in the pie crust. Then we decorated it with more, um, berries. Warning: we made this up. and it was way after midnight. and we only used our cookbook as a coaster. You are not obligated to make this recipe.
Unless, of course, you're at a slumber party. Then you have to.

Buffalo gals

won't you come out tonight?


Look who is finally done! It's the buffalo head that caused so much trouble for us back in August. Thanks to this buffalo, UPS will no longer deliver packages to us.
The lovely Ashley and Ryan provided a home for our disgusting head for the last five months and now it's dry and clean and awesome-looking. Thanks guys!

pink daisies

I always forget that I live with tiny monsters who can't be trusted. Whenever we have fresh flowers on the kitchen table, I forget that I have to put them in the sink overnight or in the morning we'll find flower massacre. I had a jar of fat pink daisies on the table yesterday and I left them there, knowing that my animals know they are not allowed anywhere near the top of any tables. I'm not pointing any fingers...
...but this morning there was a pile of decapitated flowers on the floor and water everywhere. Thanks buddy. At least now I get to wear one of the flower victims in my hair all day. Thanks Georgie!
"I don't know what you're talking about. Feed me."

Lyra's hat knitting pattern

January 28th Update: There has been a lot of attention to this post. Is there any interest in kits for this pattern? Tell you what, if anyone would like a kit that includes a pattern (more precise than the one below) and pattern yarn, please leave a comment and we'll work something out. I'll even put it all in an Alkaline original bag.

Lyra's hat

Have you seen the Golden Compass yet? Did you read the books? You totally should. Remember Lyra's hat that she wears in the movie? This is sort of a sucky picture of it, but you can get the basic idea...

Well, I thought that my daemon and I ought to be prepared in case we ever have to go into the North, so I figured out how to make her hat.

My daemon, Orbit

Want the pattern? It goes a little something like this: I used one hank of very big yarn, about as thick as those old hair ribbons we used to wear in the 80's. You could get an even cooler effect by combining leftovers of all of your favorite yarns until you get about that weight. You could easily go even chunkier than this and it would look more like the movie.

This is a really quick knit. I started mine over three times and was still able to finish it during the National Championship game.

Lyra's Boreal Hat

Gauge: 4" =7 stitches x 10 rows.

Needles: size 19 (or whatever works

-Cast on 36 stitches. Work in stockinette stitch for 20 rows. Add a few extra rows for an even roomier fit. Mine may be a little skimpy for Svalbard.

-Bind off. Now you have a long knitted rectangle.

-Fold cast off edge in half (making roughly a square) so that there are 18 stitches on each side and make a seam using whatever method you like. this will be the back of the hat. In the movie, the seam is very obvious on the outside of the hat, but you could be more discrete if you like.

- make two long braids of coordinating yarn (or an i-cord if you feel up to it) and affix to the two remaining open corners of the former rectangle. These will be the tassels you use to tie the hat snugly.

Tada! A very easy, very warm hat. Plus, the ties keep it on your head, should you find yourself riding a polar bear at great speed.

Friday night cooking show at Your House

This misadventure in the kitchen is for you, Whitney and Tiffany!

This is a recipe from my favorite cooking show, Sam the Cooking Guy, that comes on Tucson's public channel on Saturday mornings. It's yummy and warm and gooey. We ate it for dinner last night, but now that I think about it, it would be a kick-ass brunch food. On the other hand, it is full of onions. You never have brunch if you don't have company, right? Onions=smelly=uncomfortable guests. You do what you think is right.

Kick-Ass Onion Pie
-8 oz red wine
-2 big red onions
-3 roma tomatoes (or 2 regular tomatoes, or a zillion cherry tomatoes)
-6 oz goat cheese with herbs. (I know last week's had goat cheese too. We're not fanatics, we had leftovers- gimme a break)
-1 deep pie shell (or be brave and make your own)
-olive oil

First step: Change into something fabulous.
Next, locate place in your kitchen where pretend audience is sitting. Mine usually sits across from the stove. Remember, you must be able to explain everything you're doing to the audience, so be sure they're sitting on your good side.
3. Obtain large wine glass. Pour 8 oz wine into glass. sip demurely. Being on TV is so hard.
4. Slice up onions into really thin rings. This takes a little while, so be sure to say witty things to the audience, or go ahead and take a commercial break.
5. Heat some olive oil in a big frying pan over medium high heat and add the onions. You're going to cook them until they're nice and soft and maybe a little browned. Add salt and pepper to your liking.
6. While those are cooking, slice up the tomatoes.
7. Sip wine
8. Advise audience on proper cutting techniques, being sure to show off any fancy knives or cutting boards. Remember, you're a professional. Speak hautily and use big words. Tell them how you learned to cook in France, etc...
9. Check on onions. Still not done? Flip them over a little so they all get cooked. I used tongs. Tong ta tong tong tong
10. Open goat cheese package. If you forgot to get the herb-y kind (like I did) then spice it up yourself. Wink at the audience while you expertly mix together your favorite combination of rosemary, sage, dill, thyme, whatever you like. Crumble it up with the cheese.
11. When onions are done, take them off the stove and get out the pie shell. Fill the pie shell with onions.
12. Layer the tomatoes on top.
13. Sprinkle the cheese over top.
14. Here's where you tell the audience that you'll cook the pie at 350 degrees until the top is bubbly and the sides are brown. Then, pull out a pie that you made earlier to show them how awesome you are.
15. Big sip of wine.
16. slice up the pie and serve.

January sucks

Januaries can be tricky. On the one hand, they are post-holidays-still-winter disappointing. A downward spin into the horrors of Arizona summer. On the other hand, they mean a new year, new beginning, fresh starts. I've chosen to make this January the latter. These have been cheering me up a whole lot


and I've been trying to spend more time out here.


So bring it on 2008. Everyone knows that even-numbered years are the most fun anyway.

Jerk Grown-up

I can clearly remember the way that adults who weren't my parents treated me when I a little kid. I hated it when I would talk to a grown-up and they would reply to my parents instead of to me. I hated it when they would talk to me in baby-talk or assume that all I could do was baby-talk. I remember the look on their faces when they couldn't understand me and how frustrated I felt. We spent a lot of time in our neighbors' gardens and sometimes would sit and chat with them. They'd ask us questions that we didn't care about and we'd tell them things that I'm sure made no sense. One neighbor in particular was always great about never making me feel like I was too little to talk to her. She took me seriously and never tried to make me be cute. I sort of keep it in mind when I talk to kids now. I try not to talk in a high pitched voice and I try not to use baby words for things (but am guilty of both).
This afternoon, I had my first experience with being a full-fledged jerk grown-up. The neighbor kids across the street are really young. I'm not sure how old they are, but they're too young to go to school. Their older brothers are very nice and often have to come into the backyard to retrieve balls and stuff (which terrifies them. Ha! Scary adult is fine with me. Mean adult is not.) Today, I was replanting a cactus into a bigger pot, when the kids came over and asked me what I was doing. Here's where the trouble began. I understood their question and I told them all about how my cactus was too big for the little pot and had to go into a bigger pot so it could grow better, etc. Unfortunately, they asked their question in Spanish and I answered in English. Most people in Tucson speak at least a little of both languages and seem to have a magic radar that tells them which language to use in a certain situation. These kids were so little though, they didn't speak English at all. I panicked and realized I would have to tell them what I was doing in Spanish. When you're nervous, you can barely speak at all, let alone in a language you last studied in high school. I sort of bumbled around a sentence or two and got blank stares from the kids. They pointed to my backyard and told me something about my fence and the people who live behind me but I couldn't understand them. Then I did it. I gave them a huge smile and said (in English) "Ok then, well I hope you guys have fun!" In a squeaky high voice and a stupid expression. Their faces were blank. My face became blank. They said something else. I nodded and smiled. It was over. I'm a jerk grown-up. They think I don't want to listen to them, and I think that Spanish in their cute little chipmunk voices is too hard for me to understand. Is this what happened when I was a kid? Were jerk grown-ups actually not speaking my language? I don't mean they didn't speak English, but did they just not speak four-year-old? Maybe my voice sounded like my neighbor kids' and was too high and fast to be understood in any language.
Anyway, from my new perspective as a jerk, I'm still going to try to talk to kids normally and without funny words or voices, but I am a little more sympathetic to all the jerks before me who just wanted to make friends with the little neighbors too.

Friday is for free recipes

I am married to the most fantastic cook ever. He makes miracles in the kitchen all the time. It's a wonder we don't both weigh 400 lbs. The only trouble is that he makes things up as he goes along, so there's no record of what he put in when the dish is a success (which it always is). We've tried lots of solutions to this, me tagging along behind him jotting things down, him writing down the recipe when he's done, etc. Mom even bought him a tiny tape recorder so he can talk about what he's making as he makes it. None of this has been very effective.
I have resolved in 2008 to try to keep track of some of his creations and to write them down as close as I can. Here's the first installment:
We had this on the 1st and it was unbelievable. You'll be bummed if you skip the dumplings.
We did our best with the amounts of ingredients. If it's not looking or smelling right at your house, go ahead and adjust.

Rob's New Year's Day Beef Stew
1-2 lbs Tri-tip or sirloin steak
6-ish strips thick bacon
4 medium potatoes
1 large onion
3-4 celery stalks
4-ish carrots
1.5 Quart beef stock
1/4 tsp cloves
2 bay leaves
Some paprika, marjoram, thyme, white pepper, parsley, black pepper (all dry)
dash of Worcestershire sauce

Cut bacon into 1/2" strips. Saute in thick-bottomed (hee hee) pot until brown, remove. In bacon grease over med. high heat, brown steak (cubed) until awesome-looking. Remove. As you're browning, sprinkle it with salt and pepper. In the same pan, saute onions (diced)until clear and yummy. Remove. Deglaze pan with 1/4 bottle (about a wine-glass full) of any red wine. Add bay leaves, stock, cloves, spices, worcestershire sauce, bring to a gentle boil. Add steak, bacon, onions, turn to low and simmer gently for 1 hour, stirring whenever you remember it. Add potatoes, carrots, celery, and some salt if necessary. Cook for 45 min, or until everything is soft and smells good. This sounds like a long time, but you will love the way it makes your house smell.

Dumplings
2 cups regular flour
1.5 tbsp. baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/4 cup soft goat cheese
2 tsps each parsley, marjoram, thyme, black pepper
about 3 cups stock or water flavored with bouillon

Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Spoon into the boiling stock or water and cook about 6 minutes or until they float and seem done. Serve in stew.

Rob's note: The stew is too thick to cook the dumplings in, so that's why you've got to make them in stock or water.
Lizzie's note: The dumplings were crazy delicious. We baked the leftover batter in little wads on a cookie sheet the next day and ate those pseudo-biscuits in the leftover stew and it was even better than the dumplings.

Hope you like it!

Update:

I was soooo wrong. Jenny has pointed out that giant cupcakes are, of course, still the rage in 2008. This is an example she sent from www.surlatable.com. yum!

sculpey

I got a bunch of packages of sculpey for Christmas and I'm having so much fun with it. I've been making dollhouse food. First I made some tomatoes:


Then I made some eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Dollhouse people are best when they've had a good breakfast. They also like treats, so I made them some doughnuts too.


The pictures are a little weird, but it's hard to take close-up pictures of really tiny, shiny things. Anyway, I'll go find my (homeless) dollhouse people and ask them if they're hungry. They'd better be, they haven't eaten in about 15 years.

2008!

Happy New Year!

Did you get the memo? 2008 is officially the year of cake. 2007 was big for cupcakes, but this year, full cakes are back to claim their place in the dessert race.
No more wimpy tiny cakes. No more weird icing piled up really high. 2008 will be full of delicious cakes meant to be shared with others. And they will be pink.